Is your nail biting habit losing you jobs, sales or promotions?

They say ‘clothes maketh the man’ (or woman) but what about your fingernails too?

How good are they at showing you in the best way possible?

Picture the scene; there you are, presenting to your client’s senior board members regarding an important contract …

All’s progressing well and the client is giving out various positive buying signals, so you move to close.

“Would you like to complete the paperwork or shall I?” you might say, and pass the paperwork and pen across the table to the client …

They look down to the paperwork, then over to the back of your hand … and then glance down towards your fingernails, notice how they are all bitten down, along with indented red cuticles where you’ve been biting into those too.

They pause for a moment … “I think I’ll need to refer this on before we take it further”, your client says.

And that’s another deal placed on-hold, scuppered by your nail biting habit.

 

nail cuticle skin biting picking scratching bwrt peterborough

 

What is nail biting?

Nail biting, or onychophagia / onychophagy to use its more technical names, is something which is invariably associated with a person’s unconscious need to release distressful feelings, anxiety or tension.

This is not to be confused with Dermatophagia which is the biting of one’s own skin.

Although for a few people it can be found to be not directly related to their nerves, it is nevertheless something which is at the least a distraction and at its worst a deal-breaker since most people take it to indicate a less than capable person.

Consider how someone might look to others, hands waving around, fingers going up-down to and from their mouth as they keep trying to keep under control an automatic habit that thrives upon anxiety.

 

Job interview nerves, anyone, or presentation anxiety?

 

worried nail biting man bwrt peterborough

 

More often seen on men

Nail biting is more commonly found amongst men, which is perhaps due to the simple expedient reason that women are more able to apply nail coverings in attempt to control their habit.

When attending an interview or presenting to a client for new business EVERY facet of your general grooming, appearance and deportment will be noticed, often at an unconscious level.

That being so, if there are any ‘tells’ or indications of anxiety, fidgeting, too many ‘ums’ or ‘ers’ in your speech for example, and then your bitten fingernails are noticed, that could well count against you if you are competing with any other candidates for the position or their business.

At the least a candidate or salesperson may find themselves being questioned more forcefully, since your prospect may, quite rightly, interpret the nail biting as indicating you have a problem with handling pressure.

 

Possible reasons

Most people will have begun to bite their nails for one of four main reasons:

1. Stress
2. Anxiety
3. Boredom
4. Anger

Invariably this nail biting starts in our childhood years and unfortunately, the way our brains work means that patterns once laid down will always be used in preference to new patterns, meaning that nail biting will become the ‘go to’ method whenever those similar feelings crop up again.

This is why someone who’s a confident and successful person could easily be a nail biter; coping strategies learnt all those years ago are still operating out of conscious awareness to this day.

 

 

Disease

Not only are bitten nails and cuticles are unsightly, there is also the possibility of infection being caused by bacteria from our mouth being transferred to under the skin of your fingers.

Those bacteria and pathogens can lead to a type of infection called paronychia, which results in swelling, redness, pain, and pus-filled lumps.

That infection can stick around for weeks at a time and may require antibiotics to be fully cleared from your system.

But that’s not all.

The chemical composition of our saliva is perfectly balanced to allow us to break down fats and other food molecules.

The problem, however, is that when you repeatedly put your inflamed finger tips into your mouth you’re exposing that already sore skin to the same chemicals, which means you’re going to further damage and inflame that skin – corroding it, in effect.

It’s also why too much licking of your lips can cause them to become chapped.

This bacterial transfer can occur in the opposite direction too – putting your germ covered fingers into your mouth could result in a virus, stomach bug, or much worse. 

stop nail biting hypnotherapy peterborough

Source: Wikipedia

 

How to stop biting your nails

There are various ways that can work to alleviate or stop this habit, including:

  • Keeping your nails short

  • Having a regular pedicure

  • Wearing a bracelet that jingles whenever you bring your fingers towards your mouth

  • Applying a bitter-tasting anti-bite nail polish to the nails

  • Consciously thinking about not doing it

  • Wearing gloves all the time

 

The habit replacement technique

Some people have also managed to keep their nail biting under control by replace their habit by, for example:

  • Eating a carrot or celery stick (not in the board meeting!)

  • Playing with a paper clip

  • Putting your hands into your pockets

  • Fiddling with rubber bands

  • Twiddling your thumbs

  • Playing with a stress ball

  • Chewing gum (again something to be wary of)

  • Folding or clasping your hands

 

None of the above substitutions, however, are actually taking the habit away, they’re really simply re-directing it towards something less injurious to both your body and your career.

Furthermore, they don’t help to deal with your nail biting habit whilst you’re asleep (except for the glove wearing, I’ll admit).

There is, however, a better, more permanent alternative.

 

Hypnosis / BWRT

Whilst the above methods listed above can sometimes be successful or provide a short-term relief, when stressed many people report that they revert back to their old habits again.

This is why I recommend that if someone’s suffering from nail biting that they go to a qualified BWRT Practitioner or Hypnotherapist who will, usually very quickly, be able to help you to switch off the habit permanently.

It’s important that you speak to a qualified and trained therapist since, under some circumstances a habit can ‘transfer’ from one issue to another.

So, perhaps someone may stop biting their nails but start tapping their pen or fiddling with their hair, for example.

The good news is that after you’ve overcome this issue that any damage you’ve caused will invariably be replaced very quickly by fresh skin and nails and you’ll also have the benefit of extra confidence in the way you’re now looking.

I’ve worked with many clients, of all ages, who’ve found that the habits they had of picking nails or scratching the skin around their hands could be stopped and very quickly new skin and nails grew back.

Like to find out more?

Contact me for a confidential discussion or visit my website for further details.

10 signs you’re an underearner – Do you exhibit any of them?

If you’ve ever wondered why you’re not as wealthy as you believe you should be, perhaps IT IS your fault, after all!

I know some readers might take offence at that, “But how can I get out of my situation?” I’m guessing you’d be saying, so read on & let me explain further.

 

What is “Underearning?”

Without being too esoteric, in a way somewhat similar to how “an object in motion will continue in motion, or at rest will stay at rest until energy is used to move it”, we’re all a constant state of either attracting various things into our lives, or repelling them.

Now by that I’m not saying that “The Law of Attraction” is some super-duper ‘way to go’ methodology, (don’t get me started on that!).

No, but simply what we focus upon is what we get by ‘attracting’ those circumstances into our lives.

Unfortunately, whilst scientific laws are by definition empirical, ie they do what they say they will for everyone, everytime, our lives aren’t like that.

 

signs underearner coach charles stevenson

 

And the reason’s simple – WE influence OUR outcomes.

So you might say “I want to earn more / get a better job” etc, and start off with good intentions, however, if there are ANY doubts or negative beliefs in that grey matter of yours, then you’re going to find your success either doesn’t stick or more often, doesn’t even materialise.

When working with my clients I’ve found that certain themes often come up, disguised as beliefs that my clients “know” to be true.

 

SIDENOTE: Beliefs aren’t true, fixed & immutable, like gravity.
A belief is just an opinion your mind’s decided it’s going to run with as it’s easier for it (not you) that way.

 

 

A few of those beliefs come wrapped up in such thoughts as:

1. But if I charge more my prospects won’t buy from me.

2. Who me? I’ve never been that good at doing more than X so I can’t move up.

3. But if I starting earning more I’d have to be all …

4. I’d not know how to handle that extra money.

5. The last time I had more money it all got frittered away. I’m no good with money.

6. It’s only fair to offer some clients low / discounted / free rates.

7. Well at least I’m in a better place financially than (fill in the blank for the latest problem location on the planet)

8. I don’t have the time to deal with this right now. I’m too busy.

9. But I’ve been this way for years, so how can I change now.

10. But it’s not my fault. Everyone in my industry / career / family spends a lot of what they earn.

 

There are many more beliefs than those and they all have one main result, to keep you stuck in a state of perpetual underearning, one that you will justify to yourself as being “the right thing to do”.

 

 

“Not Me. I earn A LOT of Money!”

Ah, the rich person’s knee-jerk response!

If you’re someone doing the keyboard back-pat & thinking that you’re earning too much for this to be an issue, well, sorry but that’s self-serving BS you’re giving yourself.

Let me explain briefly.

Take the person who’s on a lowish salary, say £30k to keep it simple & they live a reasonably frugal life, so they’re not running a credit card tab every month & not in hock on HP, PCP, second charges, etc.

Then let’s contrast them with Mr & Mrs High-Achievers. Yes, they may have a strong double-income, but when we take into account the various ‘trinkets’ they’re paying for, the cars, leisure clubs, school fees, loans, etc, they’re often surprised as to how little they have as headroom.

 

“So aren’t you just saying we need to skimp & save?”

Nope.

You’re missing the point of what Underearning or Underachieving is all about.

If you’ll allow me to use a race-car metaphor, I’m not saying throttle-back on achieving more, I’m saying remove the de-restrictor in the fuel system so you can achieve more with the power you’ve already got.

 

“So what can I do about it?”

Step one is simple – Just accept the possibility that YOU may well be holding yourself back from achieving or earning more than is actually possible.

Then grab a piece of paper & write down at the top of the paper, “If I earned more I’d …” & write at least ten beliefs about that.

 

Step two is if they’re good, positive comments. Then ask yourself, “Is this happening for me?”

If it’s not, then ask yourself, for each one, “This isn’t happening for me because …” & write down whatever comes to mind.

 

Step three is to indicate which of those first ten beliefs were negative or limiting.

Then as above then ask yourself, for each one, “This isn’t happening for me because …” & write down whatever comes to mind.

 

Step four is to develop fresh beliefs, countervailing arguments.

Write each one facing in the opposite direction to those negative beliefs.

Write them so they feel more powerful and can over-ride your previous thought patterns.

 

If you’d like some help on that then feel free to jot down the beliefs you uncover (or you can email me if you’d prefer to get in touch that way) & I’ll offer a few suggestions as to ways you could switch those thoughts around.

 

 

SUMMARY

I’m willing to go out on a limb here & suggest that there are areas in your life where you’re an underearner or underachiever and the exercise above will allow you to begin to uncover, & then alter those thoughts.

Realisation can allow you to begin to change – give it a go, what have you got to lose vs think what you could gain.

If you feel your time’s running out you need to Read This!

“But you don’t understand. I need to get it ALL sorted by tomorrow!”

 

Do you ever feel that way too?

Sometimes, by the time my clients come to me to talk about what’s troubling them, they’ve been bottling things up for so long that it’s as if they feel compelled to “make up” for the delays that have happened in their life.

One of the big problems, however, with this “rush to be successful” is … that’s not how it happens for 99.999% of people who gain success in whatever they do.

And also, even those who post on Facebook, Instagram & who are ‘self-appointed success gurus’ have are actually playing fast’n’loose with their truths, since stuff takes longer than they’ve made out.

So if you’re someone who’s feeling that time’s running out & you’ve “gotta get it all sorted NOW”, here’s a great quote that I’ve recently discovered, courtesy of Barbara Huson, an amazing Wealth Coach in the US of A.

 

Julianne Moore Charles Stevenson Life Success Coaching

 

It’s by actresses, Julianne Moore.

“You don’t start out thinking, I’m going to be a star!

You think, I hope I get an agent.

Then, I hope I get an audition.

Then, I hope I get a job.

If you think too far ahead, it’s just overwhelming.

It’s better to just keep on going, bit by bit, one foot in front of the other.”

 

From what I know that method’s worked turned out quite well for her, so perhaps you’d do well to give it a go, too … just take one step at a time, & keep on stepping.